I’m all for self-care, but make some space in 2020 to love on your relationship a little more while you’re at it.
Here are 10 resolutions to get you started:
I will practice more openness, honesty and directness when expressing my sexual desires and boundaries to my partner. I will also invite my partner to advocate for their own needs in this collaborative conversation.
I will show more empathy, compassion and patience for my partner’s journey toward healing past attachment injuries. I will direct this same kindness to my own process of reconciling ghosts from earlier chapters.
I will choose to unite against the shared enemy of the destructive communication cycle my partner and I get lost in, instead of continuing to fight one another to no avail.
I will honor and respect my partner’s subjective experience by seeking to understand their vantage point versus stubbornly clinging to my own reality to the point of stalemate-status.
I will create a culture of intimacy in the relationship by attending to the little things like remembering moments of appreciation, speaking my partner’s love language and carving out time to connect and be fully present with my partner (no screens or outside distractions allowed).
When I am feeling emotionally flooded and/or reactive, I will take a time-out and self-soothe until I am ready to have a constructive conversation that works toward healing versus future harm.
I will be mindful of the way I talk to my partner and set aside an honesty hour or state-of-the- union meeting each week to discuss the things that get bottled in the business of everyday life.
I will apply more repair attempts when I have acted on a behavior incongruent with my own values that resulted in a disconnect between partners.
I will act as my partner’s champion and encourage them to chase their own kind of happy, because I expect the same level of unconditional support in return.
In conjunction with my partner, I will co-create a list of resolutions for the new year that challenge and celebrate the uniqueness of this one-of-a-kind relationship.